1. Not wanting to perform a sex act that “every other girl does!” You do not have to spit, swallow, deep throat, or whatever just because he’s seen it in porn or done it with an ex. If every other girl does it and you don't want to, he can go find someone who isn’t you.
2. Wanting to use a vibrator. Whether masturbating on your own or using it during sex, there is nothing about vibrators that is “competition” for men. Fact: men who seriously think this have never given a woman an orgasm, trust me on this.
3. How your body looks naked. As someone who used to try to hide bacne by insisting on ~very dark~ mood lighting or not taking off my shirt, let me be the first to say: you are not fooling anyone. And why should you have to? Partners worth sleeping with wouldn’t WANT you to hide anything – I slept with guys who also had bacne and never judged them as harshly as I judged myself. Sex where you’re not both completely obsessed with each other’s bodies is not sex worth having.
4. Asking to use lube. Just because we as a society do not talk about lube enough, doesn’t mean you’re weird for wanting to have sex sans latex friction. If a guy thinks fingering you for two minutes is enough lube for you, that's on him.
5. Not being able to have penetrative sex. Conditions like endometriosis or vaginismus can make vaginal intercourse excruciatingly painful for many women. Top that with the notion that your sex life is doomed, and it’s a recipe for feeling horrible for something you have no control over. There are lots of other things you can do in bed together, but that can only happen with a great partner you can trust (and trusting that not having vaginal sex doesn’t make you lesser than anyone else).
6. Having a low sex drive. Sexual urges vary from person to person, whether you’re asexual or just happen to be less into sex lately. Maybe you’re depressed, or exhausted, or on a specific medication – but if your partner immediately panics and acts like you don’t want to have sex with them, it's not going to do anything except make you feel bad for listening to your own body.
7. Making sure you get to orgasm too. If you think it’s shitty that so many men think sex is over only when they orgasm, you are free to call them out. It makes absolutely no sense for guys to expect an orgasm every time and women to sorta hope it happens. Ask for what you want!
8. Giving your partner actual notes. Your boyfriend aimlessly fingering or going down on you is a waste of everyone’s time. If they’re not an egotistical defensive child of a person, they’ll be excited to know exactly how to make you feel good.
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