As if you didn't have enough to worry about with all the changes happening to your pregnant body (hello: microbladder!), sex can become even more complicated when pregnant. But where there are problems, there are solutions! Here, six solutions to some of the most common sex annoyances related to pregnancy:
1. The Problem:
You can't get into fun positions anymore. Dr. Jennifer Hollings, MD, an OBGYN notes that many times women find that they can't get into the same spontaneous or crazy positions they could easily segue in and out of when they weren't pregnant. With a growing belly, it's easy to lose your balance!
The Solution:
Body pillows or a yoga chair
She suggests investing in body pillows so you can get all the support you need for getting into and out of different positions. For the more adventurous, you can get a specialty sex pillow as well, or get creative with some existing furniture. Andi LaBrune, relationship expert and mother of nine (soon to be ten), recommends a yoga chair, which is great for woman-on-top positions. "[This] way, my full body weight doesn't have to be constantly pushing up to make room for the belly. Your stronger legs can do most of the heavy work while controlling angle, depth, and stimulation." LaBruni notes that this one is particularly great because it allows for more contact with each other without being squished.
2. The Problem:
Can't get over idea of partner's penis tapping against baby.
The Solution:
Knowledge!
Ok sorry, but seriously, get this: Dr. Hollings says to think of your uterus as a beach ball filled with water (the amniotic fluid), with your baby floating inside. Your partner's penis would be like a pool noodle bumping into the beach ball. It's not going to directly come into contact with the baby since there's amniotic fluid and your uterus between them. However, she notes, in certain medical cases, like if you have advanced cervical dilation before 37 weeks, or placenta previa, you should abstain from penile/vaginal sex. Alternatively, as Hollings suggests, you can always take this as a sign for more oral sex — either from a partner or from a cunnilingus-simulating machine.
3. The Problem:
Increased blood circulation means you're ready to go ALL THE TIME.
"For some women, like myself," says LaBrune, "after the first trimester, my sex drive turns on full force. It’s annoying that my spouse may not be so energized to keep up with me. I know what’s coming once I’m 9-months pregnant, so I want what I can get now."
The Solution:
Vibrator
Why wait for your partner to get on board, when you can just take care of things yourself? Do yourself a favor and invest in a Magic Wand if you don't have one already. Not only is it a must-have for every sex toy enthusiast, but the large size makes it easy to maneuver around a growing belly, and you can use it on sore muscles.
4. The Problem:
Orgasms feel like contractions because, surprise, they are contractions!
The Solution:
Staying hydrated.
Hollings says this one's tough because the cramping that can come from the final weeks of pregnancy are pretty much inevitable. However, she says, "if this is happening earlier in the pregnancy, I would always recommend that the mother stays adequately hydrated so that the muscles can relax. We have to remember that the uterus is a muscle." We recommend buying a Swell water bottle, as there's really no better (or chicer) way to consume your daily water intake. Plus, you can rest assured that your drink will stay cool forevvvvvver, which makes the boring act of drinking water somewhat better.
5. The Problem:
Your pregnancy breasts are amazing, but sore to the touch.
Hollings explains that your breasts are more sensitive during pregnancy because there's extra estrogen in your system. In addition to this sensitivity, your skin is also stretching around the breast to grow, which can cause discomfort.
The Solution:
Lanolin breast cream.
Hollings recommends Lansinoh breast cream to help moisturize the skin. It might not drain your body of that extra estrogen, but at least chaffing and dryness from stretching will be kept to a minimum.
6. The Problem:
You're uninterested in sex, but your partner is still ready to go.
"It’s difficult because you’re dealing with morning sickness and feeling pretty cruddy with foods, smells, and he still wants sex." says LaBrune. "I know it feels good, but it’s difficult to get past the physical discomforts that overpower the pleasure-zones."
The Solution:
A sex toy that takes some of the responsibility off of you.
It's not a replacement for you of course, but sometimes new accoutrements can add some much needed excitement. There's nothing like trying out a new toy together. Plus, seeing him turned on will probably turn you on too. Think of this toy as more of a warm-up, before you jump in. We recommend the Tenga Flip Hole. It looks totally unassuming when closed (no fleshlights here!) and opens up like a makeup compact to reveal a variety of different sensations. The black one provides a snugger fit, the red one "caresses", and the silver one feels like being stroked.
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