Sex can get pretty messy on its own. But once you start adding oils and foodstuffs to the mix, it can hit catastrophic heights. Like, "it's-time-to-move-out-because-you-can-never-go-back-to-your-bedroom-again" messy. These eight guys dish on the messiest (and most memorable) sex they've ever had:
1. “We tried using chocolate syrup and strawberries in bed, but it’s a lot harder than we thought it would be. We wound up with chocolate handprints all over each other.” — Marc, 29
2. “We thought it’d be great to use massage oils, but we didn’t plan it out and soaked our covers and the mattress through. It was a combination of not getting rubber sheets or putting a towel down, and being inexperienced and using way too much oil.”
3. “We got back home and were pretty tipsy and in need of some lube. We had recently bulk ordered a giant bottle and we thought it’d be funny to use way more than necessary. We wound up basically covering each other in the stuff. We fell asleep until the next day and woke up with it all over us. We were just covered in a sheen. Picture when Neo comes out of the goo in The Matrix.” — Derrick, 28
4. “I had a party where we had made Jell-O shots. I brought this girl I had been seeing up to my room and we wound up doing body shots off each other with the Jell-O. We had sex and Jell-O got everywhere. I wound up just throwing those sheets out. I didn’t even want to bother trying to clean them. The sex was great, though, so it was worth it.” — Tony, 26
5. “My fiancée and I tried the whole whipped cream thing. I know it’s cliché, but licking it off each other was actually really fun. However, I guess we didn’t clean up enough, because the next day all the warm whipped cream smelled awful.” — Kyle, 28
6. “My girlfriend at the time and I picked up these flavored body oils. They not only tasted weird, but they were incredibly sticky. We might as well have rubbed glue sticks all over ourselves. We were sticking to the pillows, the covers, everything. The good news is: it comes off easily in the shower. But sex when you’re peeling your skin off each other is not that fun.” — Luke, 28
7. “We used a few of those flavored lubes and we were not prepared for just how fast it runs out of the bottle. It was like when you squeeze a ketchup bottle and it gets all over the hot dog.” — Chris, 27
8. “Whipped cream and cherries. We thought it’d be kind of fun and a little bit funny. But it’s really tough to fool around and try to sexily spray whipped cream with one hand. It wound up in our hair and up our noses.” — Pete, 28
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