If you worry it takes you too long to have an orgasm, stop it this instant! You take exactly the right amount of time. It's like that Abraham Lincoln thing: “How long should a man's legs be?” “Long enough to reach the MF'ing ground.” (I'm paraphrasing, naturally.)
But if it still sometimes takes longer than you'd like to climax, there could be some stuff happening. Here are some easy fixes to start.
1
The Hobby Horse
You're expecting too much from P-in-V
Penetrative sex is glorious in all kinds of ways but the fact is most women cannot orgasm with P-in-V alone. Invite your clit to the party; adding a little leg humping can be just what you need. And if you need more, go ahead and put a toy to work as well.
2
The Zen Mistress
You're worried it's taking too long...so it takes extra long
Worrying about not coming is like worrying that you won't fall asleep—annoyingly unhelpful. Trick your monkey brain by forgetting orgasm as a goal (this is good advice always, actually) and just focus on all the good stuff that you're feeling. Go full-on spiritual warrior with the Bridge Position from yoga and you will be richly rewarded with deep penetration plus easy access to your clit for either one of you.
3
The Purring Panther
ou're not ~quite~ in the mood yet, but you want to be
Try a position that incorporates extra foreplay. Get on top, then lie flat on him. Instead of pounding away, rub against him, make out, and kiss your way down each other's necks to build the excitement. There's less stimulation for him so he will last longer and you're in control so you can take as long as you damn well please.
4
The Pre-Party
You can't get out of your head
Really great sex happens when you're just so turned on, you sort of lose your mind. But if your mind is right there and busy watching, your orgasm might run away and hide. Disrupt the cycle by getting yourself about three quarters of way there with a really alluring toy while your partner hugs you from behind while nuzzling your neck. When you no longer care how about anything but how friggin' good that toy feels, hand over the wand and let them take over. If they have a penis or penis-substitute, this is also an ideal time for them to slide on in.
5
The Rag Doll
You almost get there, realize you're almost there, then—damn it!—you lost it!
Instead of holding your breath and tensing up when you feel yourself getting close to orgasm, let your body go limp and take long, deep breaths. It's kind of the opposite of what we usually do, but deep slow breaths are way better for longer, deeper orgasms, and/or getting there in the first place.
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