1. Start with an unpeeled, room-temperature grapefruit.
Ruby Red is the best, says Auntie Angel. It's the sweetest variety, and considering how much you'll be tasting it, it's way easier to work with when it's not sour. If you’re allergic to grapefruit, a large navel orange will do just fine.
2. Roll it against a hard surface for a minute or two.
This loosens the fruit, making the flesh more pliable, juicy, and—let’s just say it—vaginal. If you just took your grapefruit out of the fridge, this is a good opportunity to make sure it's at room temperature before too. There's enough going on here without adding the element of ice cold temperature play into the mix.
3. Carefully slice both navel-ends off.
Be sure to make the slices thin. Your grapefruit should now be the shape of a thick wheel.
4. Cut a hole in the fleshy middle of the grapefruit, roughly the size of the soon-to-be-“grapefruited” penis.
No need for perfection: If the hole ends up too big, you can always squeeze the grapefruit during step 8 to create a tighter sensation. If it’s too small, use your fingers to pluck off enough additional flesh to accommodate a snug fit.
5. Get him into the bathtub—at the very least, put a towel down.
This step is conspicuously missing from both Dina and Auntie Angel’s demonstrations. However, if you value your bedding at all, this tip is incredibly important.
6. Optional step: Blindfold him.
Men are visual creatures, and unless his dick happens to be a plastic juicer, knowing the truth might weird him out to the point of distraction. Auntie Angel suggests a gentle disclaimer after you suggest the blindfold: “I wanted to try something a little freaky and different tonight.” If you go this route, just ensure he has no open cuts or wounds on his penis.
7. He has to be hard to begin the technique, so start by giving him a regular non-grapefruit blowjob.
Bonus points if you make the iconic sounds that Auntie Angel makes in the video.
8. Once he’s fully erect, slip the grapefruit over his penis and start twisting it up and down on his shaft while continuing to suck the head.
This is the centerpiece of the GFBJ. Adjust your grip so that it stays close against his shaft. You want it to feel like a sleeve, not a bangle.
9. Continue doing this until he finishes.
It may be more work (and messier) than you’re used to, but if you’re doing it right, it shouldn’t take too long. If it does take awhile, here’s some good news: Studies have shown that citrus is one of the top mood-boosting scents for women!
10. If he was blindfolded, tell him to remove the blindfold.
There’s no real erotic purpose to this step—only the joy of showing your partner that he repeatedly penetrated a breakfast item. In the immortal words of Auntie Angel: “He’ll think, ‘I could have been f*cking a grapefruit this whole time!’” Is there any greater gift than that?
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